The Plumber's 31 Wife

The Day After Valentine's Day

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 10:43:28 -0800

I remember it like it was yesterday. That feeling of relief the day after Valentine’s Day. Relief that all the attention was finally off of me. I was a single girl in a world of couples. Shame. Embarrassment. Oh, how I dreaded that day. Loathed it, actually. It was filled with loneliness. Plain and simple. All the lucky girls with their bouquets of flowers, heart boxes of chocolates, and tender cards. Blech. Heartache for the lonely. Every minute of that day I wondered if there was someone out there for me. Wondering if I would end up being alone forever?

I was wrong, but even more so than I thought.

Truth is I did not end up alone. I am married to the love of my life, and I have three beautiful children. I thank God for each of them every day. For those of you single girls, you may say, “well, of course your Valentine’s Day is full of love.” You would be right, but the difference is my perspective.

I had to learn to switch my focus from receiving to giving. Sadly, that wasn’t until I got married and had a family before I could see that. There were many opportunities I missed to bless people because I was so busy feeling sorry for myself. When my husband and children came along, I realized how fulfilling it was to give love.

Today, giving love to all the wonderful people who surround us, especially the ones who appear to reside on the cusp of love is where Christ wants us, not always in the middle of a Hallmark store. There were many things I could have done to love on the people around me, and I didn’t. Most importantly, even as a new Christian in my adult life, I never focused on the true lover of my soul. At the very least and most importantly, I could have been deep with in prayer, fighting off the expectations of this world, arming myself with His love, seeking joys, feeling gratitude, feeling love. Seeking Him.

I have celebrated 10 Valentine’s Days with my husband. Each year, we skip the flowers because he takes dozens of ordinary days to bring me flowers, many of those bouquets are red roses and some wildflowers picked from the side of the road. Each and every time, I feel loved and cherished. I have never received a heart shaped box of chocolates from him, and I am grateful for that. It reminds me that love does not come shaped in a heart and connected to chocolate. Some of our poorer years we have made cards, some have been funny, some have been sappy, all have been tender. We spend more Valentine’s Days with our kids setting family traditions and teaching them what love is truly and from where it comes, the Lord.

Most importantly, we teach our children to give to all the people around them everyday not just Valentine’s Day; remembering neighbors who need us, mail carriers, bus drivers, and the loving teachers and staff at their schools. They seek shy kids at school to bless, to encourage. We share what we have with those who don’t. We look for the people on the cusp who Jesus loves with his whole heart. We love. We pray. We ask the Lord to open our eyes and fill our hearts with His love.

I will always be grateful for the lonely years. I remember them like they were yesterday. I wish I would have had the courage to be Jesus-love in those days. While I cannot do anything about those yesterdays, I can certainly be that love today.

So can you.

P31Wife

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment.And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22: 36-40 NIV

Five Minute Friday: Stay

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:26:00 -0800

“Stay with me, mama,” he said.

How could I not? He had been sick for 8 days now, and I could not breathe if I left his side.

The beeping of the machines. The rise and fall of his chest. The busy chaos outside his door. The still quiet within my head. It was all there in that small room. Twenty-three floors above the ground.

It had been 8 days that I had seen his little sister and brother, felt their breath upon my cheek. My heart ached and a permanent lump had taken residence in my throat.

It had been 8 days since I had turned him over to the Lord both physically, mentally, and spiritually. I couldn’t watch as the helicopter lifted off the ground with him.

Stay.

I couldn’t do anything else.

“Lord, stay,” I begged.

Stay with me, as I held the small hand of the boy I cherished.

“Stay with me son,” I whispered as he drifted in and out.

All three of us there in that room: the Lord, the mama, the baby boy.

We stayed.

Stop.

EDIT: Our son healed wonderfully and he was amazingly sent home after 13 days at UCSF. He had a case of the flu that turned into a devastating ordeal. We are so grateful for his recovery. This was written about a moment of time during our stay there.

Lisa Jo Baker from Gypsy Mama hosts a five minute writing project every friday and provides a community of awesome bloggers with a single topic. We write for five minutes flat and post what we write, without extreme editing! Just pure thoughts and nothing else. Click on the link above to check out other bloggers thoughts on the same topic. I would love to hear what you think!

P31Wife

Lessons From My Daughter on the Holy Spirit

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:16:00 -0800

“There are two voices you usually hear, Mama.”

She is six, and loves to talk about a mile a minute when you get her in a car.

“And, God usually gets your attention first and then tells you what to do.”

Really.

“Yes, mama. God gets your attention. Kinda how he got Paul’s attention to keep him from killing Christians. Well, maybe not exactly like how He got Paul’s attention with the blinding light, but He still does.” (Acts 9)

I almost had to pull over. She was absolutely speaking Truth, and I get really excited when that happens.

“He gets you to stop doing something bad by giving you that feeling that something isn’t right. Even when Satan tells you to lie, God tells you not to. His voice is bigger than Satan’s. Satan is a bully.”

I pulled over.

“I like when God tells me to do good things most of all. Like when he tells me to help someone on the playground. Or when He told me to help my friend learn to tie her shoes. I like when He tells me to do good things. It feels good when I do what God tells me.”

Deep breaths of a proud mama with a spreading smile.

“When I took that toy I wasn’t supposed to, Mama, God told me not to. But I chose not to listen to Him. That made me feel so bad that I didn’t listen. But then I felt better when I took it back and said I was sorry. That was God.”

Tears in my eyes at the sight of the Holy Spirit in my baby girl.

Following the Holy Spirit does not have to be hard. Why do we make it? It is easy and we make it complicated when we serve our flesh rather than our spirit (Romans 8). Trusting Jesus like a child is what Jesus himself preached (Mark 10:15). The Holy Spirit is with us always and guides us if we choose to listen and obey (John 14:26).

Listen.

Obey.

Walk with God.

P31Wife

“Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samariaenjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers,” (Acts 9:31).

Five Minute Friday: Quiet

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 21:20:00 -0800

Topic: Quiet

The news is deafening.

“Run to me,” He says. “Run to Me. Hide here.”

The chaos and screaming ensues but I am am still in my mind. Cowering to the pain of his words.

Quiet.

It sears.

It bleeds.

The screaming is mine; I hear it.

“Hide here,” He says. “Stay close, Beloved.”

Despair creeps in like a stone statue of a weeping angel. She buries her head in her hands, hands and head layed down on her knees. She weeps.

“Come,” He says. “Rest here.”

Down feathers soft up on the tips of my fingers.

“Trust me.”

Stop.

Five Minute Friday: Roots

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:13:00 -0700

TOPIC: Roots

I am a girl sitting in a field surrounded by them. Bright sunshine yellow, and I pick them. Lie back in the grass and watch the billows of clouds float by. No cares. No time frame.

I am a teenager. Striving. Racing. Lonely. Pulling them from the front yard. White weeds. One after the other. Wishing futility of a life that drags on. Wishing for love. Wishing for a white knight on a white horse to rescue while the wolves growl at the door.

I am woman. Lovingly watching them glide through the fields picking one after another. Watching. Remembering. Realizing the extensive roots that lie beneath these flowers of gold. They are dandy. Both child and flowers for mama.

They call my name: mama.

He calls my name: beloved.

Their roots extensive.

In Him, they grow.

In me, they grow.

Stop.

P31Wife

Goodbye, October. Hello, November.

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 10:41:00 -0700

What a month October has been: a month of growth and blessings. Thank you for taking the 31 Day Writing Challenge with me. As always, God blesses the writer before the reader. He has blessed me outrageously this month by through the challenge, and I hope you found blessings sprinkled throughout as well. You can read the whole series here on this link. One of my favorite posts “Don’t Miss Your Life” you can find here. The post, “The Perfect and Good Girl with Potential,” where I was most vulnerable and God grew me the most, you can read here. Will you please share it? God has something mighty to say through my journey, and I know there are others who want to hear it. We serve an awesome God, don’t we? He works in amazing and unexpected ways.

One of the many things I learned in October was the importance of perseverance to our moral character. To be honest, writing for 31 days straight was a bit of a marathon. I am glad I persevered, and by the grace of God I feel like I served Him well. Around every turn, I wanted to write about one thing, and God said no dig deeper. Through obedience, I was able to bring His message and not mine. On the other side of things, that feels peaceful. I am on the right path (2 Peter 1: 1-8).

This month held many lessons for both myself and my children. I am looking forward to writing about how they taught me about serving the Lord. There is nothing more humbling than learning how to serve Christ from the very children who you are trying to teach (John 3:16).

I am also following Ann Voskamp and her thoughts on gratitude this month. If you haven’t heard of Ann and her book one thousand gifts, you should stop what you are doing and read! I am documenting all that I am grateful for this month by doing the November Joy Dare. I will be sharing some of that with you here, on the P31Wife Facebook page, and Twitter @plumbers31wife. Join me, won’t you please? It doesn’t have to be a fancy journal. Maybe its a piece of notebook paper on the fridge. Just document this month all that you are grateful to God for. We will journey towards a heart full of gratitude together.

My prayer for us this month is a heart of gratitude and humility focused on the Lord and His many blessings. “And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” (Colossians 3:17 NIV). Memorize this with me this month?

I am grateful for you. I am grateful for this opportunity to serve you. There are two things right already!

Love,

P31Wife

“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies,” (Proverbs 31:10)

Day 1 of November Joy Dare: honeycrisp apple, warm oatmeal, homemade pumpkin seeds

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 31: Sing a New Song}

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 00:30:37 -0700

There comes a time where you have to lay your burdens down and surrender. If you are like me, may be you try every avenue stubbornly. May be you think in the back of your mind “if I can just get to the point of thin, I could maintain it.” May be you try one more quick fix, one more unhealthy treatment for your body, your temple. When you are done with the quick fixes and done trying to do it on your own, try Jesus. Surrender yourself and sing a new song for Him. He can help you.

“To whom will you compare me?

Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look o the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing.

He alone can fill voids. He alone can pull our lives together. Take the steps needed to change your relationship with Christ.

Why do you say, O Jacob,

and complain, O Israel,

“My way is hidden from the Lord;

my cause is disregarded by my God”?

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

With Jesus directing our journeys He will never tire of our struggles. His grace will never run out. He is an everlasting God, and we cannot be disregarded by God.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:25-31).

It is exhausting to do this on your own. We can try, but ultimately we tire ourselves out. We look for acceptance, value, and comfort from any other source but the True Source. Jesus waits for us, my friend. He longs to fill our voids and heal our hurts. He wants us to soar like eagles. This journey can be conquered with Christ. We can sing a new song. We need only to trust Him and obey.

God has blessed me tenfold through this series. I have enjoyed writing and posting His many blessings and lessons the last 31 days. He fills me up, and I spill out His love.

I will continue to write His story of love and abundance through my weight loss journey. I pray you will join me as I do. Look for Weight on Wednesdays on P31Wife.

Praying for our journeys sisters,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 30: Jesus is My Super Power}

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 00:30:00 -0700

Throughout this series, I have been writing about how to look at weight loss with a different lens. A lens that focuses on Christ, his love for us, and the amazing Holy Spirit He left us with. I am not going to tell you anything new today.

Jesus is my super power. He rocks my world every single day. I get into trouble and He hears my call every time. Just today, I let the enemy have a stronghold. He answered. The soft quiet familiar voice of the Holy Spirit floods through my body like fog. He says, “no, beloved, that is not who you are anymore. You are new. I am in you.” And just like that I lift my eyes back to the Lord. It is that simple, but not always easy for our flesh. It takes obedience, and Christ supplies the self control.

Paul tells us in Ephesians that we are a new identity in Christ. He tells the believers at Ephesus “to look at their relationships with God in a new way. He helps them to discover what this new life “in Christ” is, and how to live in Christ and how to face struggles of life through Christ’s power,” (NIV Women of Faith Study Bible, pg. 1927). I am asking you to do the same thing for your weight loss journey.

Jesus fills us with hope and power. What better super powers? He stands beside us as we trudge through the trenches of this world offering us grace and solace. We must only accept. Accept, dear sister! We cannot do this alone. He is our only super power.

Praying,

P31Wife

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Join me tomorrow for Day 31 and where we go from here.

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 29: The Perfect and Good Girl with Potential}

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:30:00 -0700

I used to want to be the perfect and good girl with potential. So perfect that no one would ever leave me or lie to me or tell me I was unlovable. So much potential that I had lots of possibilities to be good and perfect. I tried so hard. It was a tough cycle to follow, but I kept at it. I worked hard at showing everyone just how perfect and good I was. In fact, I almost convinced myself.

I came to Christ for the first time in 2001. I came empty-handed with nothing to give Him, except bag upon bag of sin. It was unfeasible to me that I could lay it all down before Him, and He’d actually take it. Before Jesus could refuse, I grabbed a couple of bags of my potential and took them with me. Consequently, I left with my potential.

The first time I went to church, I sat in the parking lot almost hyperventilating. In my heart, I wasn’t quite good enough yet. When I walked through the doors I thought for sure the sirens would blare and everyone would see me for the fraud I was. I was a nearly perfect and good girl but I was full of potential. It was obvious to me. Surely, the church would see that too.

The harder I tried to be the perfect and good girl, the more I realized it had nothing to do with anyone not loving me, lying to me, or leaving me. It was just me wasting a lot of time.

Until the day, I actually saw myself the way Jesus did. I stopped being someone else’s latent possibility, and started acting like the wonderfully and fearfully made girl I was made to be. I was a messy, broken, overweight, beautiful, breakable, lovable girl, and I belonged to a King.

The layers of potential started to peel away.

I changed the way I saw myself and a paradigm shifted.

You can change too.

Shed a layer of your potential.

This doesn’t mean that no one lies to me. It doesn’t mean that no one will tell me that they don’t love me or I won’t be hurt or disappointed. Those things still happen and are still painful. What it does mean is that there is One who loves me and will never leave me, and I don’t have to be perfect for Him to love me.

I don’t need potential.

Stop being who you think you should be, and be who you are to Jesus. Be who the Lord made you to be, even if that is messy and broken. In fact, we glorify Him the most when we are messy and broken.

Strip away the layers of the perfect and good girl with potential.

You may find that has everything to do with your weight loss journey.

I did.

Praying,

P31Wife

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them,” (Psalm 139: 13-16).

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 28: Wanderer}

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 00:30:00 -0700

I am prone to wander. It is in my nature. I take rabbit trails. I lazily look for short cuts. I get distracted by beauty. I get caught up in the moment and toss off pressing responsibilities. I have a horrible sense of direction because I am too busy having fun riding along. God knows this about me. He made me sensitive to my surroundings. He made me an artist so that I could witness His beauty and write about it.

He also blessed me with the gift of discernment. Praise Jesus. Otherwise, I may never reach my destination. Yes, I am prone to wander, but I am not lost. Neither are you. If you find yourself off your path. Stop. Find your direction with the calling of His name. He will turn you around and set you on your way. Traveling in His direction. Toward His goals. For His glory.

Do. Not. Give. Up.

Everyone looses their way sometimes. Come back to Jesus. He is your starting point and finish line. If I had given up every time I had wandered off, I would not be here at the Masters feet before you. Praise God.

You can do it, my friend.

He is full of mercy.

“Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent,”( Luke 15: 3-7).

Praying,

P31Wife

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR7MXFupz6E

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 27: Gratitude}

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 00:30:00 -0700

I don’t know about you, but I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself over the years. Instead of being grateful for the things I did have, I wasted a lot of time wishing something awesome would fall into my lap. It did not happen that way.

How awesome did happen was I started being grateful. God opened my world up. I started being grateful and telling Him thank you for guiding me, teaching me, and blessing me with the self control I needed to get through each day. I also thanked Him for every other little thing and big thing He blessed me with.

Something changed.

It was me.

“Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire,” (Hebrews 12:28-29).

Weight loss is about changing the condition of your heart first. It is about moving toward the Lord in a way that is consuming. It is about being godly and pursuing moral excellence. It is not just about counting points or the four food groups. While those things are great, Jesus is awesome. You will move mountains with Him. I don’t know about you, but I need to move mountains.

Make a list either on paper or in your mind. For me, paper is always better. I need to see it written down. Write out what you are grateful for today. Just today. And, then thank Him. Send it all up to Him in prayer. If you are grateful that you only had one breakfast this morning, if you are grateful you did not buy donuts for the way home from the grocery store, if you are happy that your children were cheerful when they left for school this morning, write it down and thank Him. You will notice something awesome.

You will change.

You will be awesome.

The old will slip away unnoticed.

Peace will flood your life riding on the back of gratitude.

Thank, Him.

Praying,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 26: God Knows}

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 00:30:38 -0700

I worked almost five months on my weight loss before anyone noticed. It was disappointing and tested my faith. One day my ever-observant-six-year- old-daughter brought my eyes back to the Lord. Children have a way of doing that; don’t they?

“God sees everything; doesn’t He mommy?” Yes, He sure does.

God spoke truth to me through my daughter. If we listen, even through unrelated discussions, we can hear Him.

”A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save,”

God knows. Don’t lose hope if you aren’t seeing results and neither is anyone else. God sees it. He sees the ways you choose to obey. He sees the way you open your Bible in the morning and pray. He sees you choose to abstain from one candy bar, one ice cream, one second helping. He sees.

“But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,”

At the end of the day, I have a habit of recalling the day’s events before I can close my eyes and find rest. Over the years, I have listed failure after failure in my head. Relived them in shame. At the end of my list, I either pray or I submit to the failure. Sad nights. I don’t do that anymore.

I still run through my day, but I pray first and after. I pray that God will bring to the front of my mind all the ways I have pleased Him during the day. I pray that if I have any sin that I seek forgiveness and accept that forgiveness.

“to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine,”

Then, I run through my list.

I pray again.

I ask for forgiveness.

I accept it.

I praise.

I rest.

This has helped me tremendously in my weight loss journey. Yes, God sees disobedience. No escaping that. Most importantly, He sees how I have pleased Him. Praise Jesus that there is no escaping that either. Point is, God knows.

“We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name,”

Place your sense of value and accomplishment in the Lord. Let Him offer you praise by His standards of obedience. Focus on Him, not the deliverance of this world. It is like putting all your faith in a horse to deliver you, rather than on the maker Himself. Hold close His words of affirmation and acceptance, not the condemnation of this world. Your journey will stay the course.

“May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you,” (Psalm 33: 17-22).

Don’t loose hope, friend. God sees.

Praying,

P31Wife

Five Minute Friday:

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 19:47:37 -0700

Lisa Jo Baker from Gypsy Mama hosts a five minute writing project every friday and provides a community of awesome bloggers with a topic. We write for five minutes flat and post what we write, without extreme editting! Just pure thoughts and nothing else. Click on the link above to check out others bloggers thoughts on the same topic. I woould love to hear what you think. So please leave a little comment love!

TOPIC: VOICE

It’s taken years to hear it. In the past it has come at all the wrong times. Interrupting me in the middle of something hidden. A soft hushing voice that intrudes upon a stolen moment. Temptation. A pause of a split second stopping me from nothing. My own selfish need plunging forward overrunning its warning.

Sometimes, it’s loud and crushing. Stops me right where I stand. Frozen in layers of ice, I cannot move. I stop and head it’s warning. His voice that reverberates through my soul. Stopping me from destruction. Saving me from myself.

Quiet it whispers in the night when my heart is aching. Hush it whispers in a hospital room with a sleeping child. I bring hope it whispers in the hurricane of despair. When it seems the world will never be the same again, His voice brings peace.

His voice.

STOP

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 25: Fight for Your Joy}

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 00:30:00 -0700

Satan wants to destroy you; this is not news. He will do anything to keep your faith from growing. Anything. In fact, I am quite certain that the one thing he doesn’t want to happen is for you to put all your faith in Jesus Christ. Do it anyway.

The first thing he is going to do is tell you that you can’ t do this weight loss/change your life thing. “It’s too hard, and you will fail,” he says. He is a brazen liar. Do it anyway.

Next, he will tell you that you don’t deserve self control, peace, joy, and love. “You have sinned too much, and you aren’t worth it.” God says you are worth it. In fact, he says you are wonderfully and beautifully made. Believe Him.

But don’t be naive. You are going to have to fight for your joy from the enemy. It won’t just happen. Satan will ridicule, threaten, and taunt you. He is a bully. That is what bullies do. Fight for your joy anyway.

Nehemiah knows all about ridicule, threats, and taunting.

“Hear us, O our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity,” (Neh 4:4).

He built his wall anyway.

“So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart,” (Neh 4:6)

He not only built the wall, but he built it with a sword on his side ready for battle. He worked day and night in his clothes with his weapon. Ready at any minute to do battle.

“Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes,” (Neh 4: 13-14).

Nehemiah was committed. Are you?

“So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God,” (Neh 6: 15-16)

God will fight for you. He will do awesome work in you. You must be willing to do the same. You are more than able. You are a fierce warrior.

Fight for your joy, sister.

Praying,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 24: Be a Tree}

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 00:30:17 -0700

Throughout my life I have focused on the wrong things. I have not only focused on the wrong things, but I have carefully tended them and aspired to grow them. I have reached out to the wrong people. Repeatedly. Wished instead of prayed. Gambled on sin instead of looking to the certainty of the Lord. In short, I have been a bush rather than a tree.

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

I want to be a tree.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
 whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
 that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
 its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit,” (Jeremiah 17: 5-8).
I want to stand tall and free. I want roots that are tenacious and reach the underground stream that nourishes my soul and replenishes my body. Standing strong through trials and bearing plentiful fruit through all seasons. 
I can’t do it alone.
I need Jesus.  
I want to be a tree. 
I tell myself this when I don’t want to get out of bed or when I would rather seek the temporary comfort of food. When I am a mess in need of a Savior, I tell him so. We all need the grace of the Lord. We all need the faith of a single mustard seed to see enough of Jesus to move the mountains in our journey.
See Him. 
Take the next step.
Even, if you feel small like a bush in a salt wasteland, stand up and take the next step. 
Truth is standing right beside you. 
And He, He is a beautiful Tree. 
Praying,
P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 23: Cake and Bread}

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 23:56:00 -0700

Over this last weekend God blessed me with a spectacular weekend at our church’s Women’s Retreat. I spent the weekend learning about Simon Peter and a small section of scripture that inspired me to be more effective and productive in my life.

Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, (2 Peter 1: 1-2).

I was surrounded with many of my most loved friends and sisters. I also made new friends. I got to see friends who had moved away, and special friends that are more like sisters to me. It was an amazing weekend filled with the Lord’s blessing and teaching.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires,” (2 Peter 1: 3-4).

Here is an overview of what I learned this weekend as a whole (more on the teaching coming in a different post):

I prayed heavily that God would fill me with His Word and overfill my life with His glory. He did.
I overcame a fear of climbing a ladder and sleeping in a loft. This may sound like a small victory but God knows how much trust that required. In fact, I climbed up and down several times in the dark! Thank you, Jesus.
When I arrived and saw the small space to which I had to climb through to get to the loft, my first thought was “will I fit?” Being heavy for so long leaves you with a perception of yourself that is hard to shake (more blogging on this to come). When I climbed up, I paused to smile halfway. That is when I realized I could have easily fit two of me through the small opening. Praise Jesus.
I survived the temptation of the snack table. Let me say that again. I survived temptation. (Cartwheels!) In fact, with the Lord’s help I didn’t just survive, I knocked it out of the park. Seriously, friends, by the grace. of. god. right. there.
Our speaker Carla Ritz’s lesson was on 2 Peter 1: 1-10. (Check out her wisdom gleaned from many hours spent in the Word on her blog. You will be inspired.) I am further reminded of how rich the Bible is. One can discuss a small section of the Bible for an entire weekend and pull out many, many lessons from it. Just one small section can change your life. And as Carla reminded us, all you have to do is open your Bible and read. You too can have that knowledge. It will change your life.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, (2 Peter 1: 5-8)

One thing that the Lord kept telling me over and over this weekend was this: the Bible is our daily bread and it can be delicate luscious cake. We can consume it daily and heartily like an artisan bread, and it will nourish us, sustain us, and leave us sated and then insatiable for more. It can also be the most delicious and delicate cake. A small slice can fulfill the deepest need. The Bible quells my need for food. It satisfies my need to fill a void with anything other than God. God’s Word permeates me and leaves me yearning for more of Him.

“But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins,” (2 Peter 1: 9).

No matter if you study a few lines or a book of the bible. No matter if you are a scholar or not. God’s Word is for all of us. It was meant to be devoured. All you must do is open it and read it. All of God’s promises and lessons are waiting right there for you.

”Therefore, my brothers and sisters,make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” (2 Peter 1: 10-11)

Praying,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 22: Marathon}

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 23:44:16 -0700

I am a marathon runner.

In my heart, and a few awesome dreams, I run marathons. I mean, I seriously run them like a Kenyan boss. But those dreams are not the reality of my life. Truth is, I may never actually run a marathon for one reason or another. Maybe too much damage done to my knees from years of basketball and softball or maybe, sigh, that is just not God’s plan for me. Only God knows, if that dream of actually hitting the pavement and accomplishing a 26.21875 mile race will actualize. I am ok either way, because I am still a marathon runner running a race He has set out before me.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us,” (Hebrews 12:1).

Truth is, I have a tendency to run ahead. My competitive nature gets carried away, inevitably grows tired of waiting, and I sin or race. Because I am determined to set my own pace, I inevitably end up hurt. Daily, I have to remind myself to align my heart and pace with the Lord’s.

My problem is what I am looking at. I look to the finish line. I see a prideful finish and an accomplishment I have always wanted. I don’t immediately see the Lord or His will. Can you relate?

Our weight loss journeys are parallel marathons with our walk with the Lord. Careful where you set your eyes and how your treat that journey. I want to see a finish line. I want to see accomplishment. It is easy to see the journey as a sprint, and not a marathon.

God wants to see my heart following His. He doesn’t care about finish lines. He cares about how well we run the marathon. He cares about the condition of our hearts. Are we being led by pride? Would you give anything to look like a marathon runner, without maybe all that painful work ethic? Truth is, there are days I would. On those days, I know it is time to adjust my pace and come back to the Lord and submit to His lead.

My journey is not a sprint. It is a marathon of work and determination unto the Lord, not unto, Meredith. It is not about images or accomplishment that add up to pride. It is about service, love, and a life spent humbly submitting to an omnipotent God. I may get to run my actual marathon; I may not.

I am still a marathon runner for the Lord.

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 21: Sing Praises}

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 00:20:58 -0700

I remember exactly where I was when I truly realized what it meant to sing praises over another human being. I was sitting in a NICU, and he was barely three pounds of flesh and bones. I sang praises over him this 8 week old premature baby boy of mine. I didn’t care of i sang off key or if I knew the words or if anyone heard me. All I could do was thank God for his little life and sing sweet songs to him from my heart to his.

Becoming a mother has a way of humbling you. It makes you keenly aware of how vulnerable you are. When I became a mother I realized almost immediately that there was something in this world that I would do absolutely anything for. Someone I would sing praises over.

The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing, (Zeph 3:17).

Here is what I learned:

You are that someone to God, and so am I.
It took me a little longer to accept those praises He sang.
He kept singing.
I had to learn how to recieve those praises.
This has been a critical point for me in my weight loss journey.

My heart could not receive the praises God sung over me. But, once I started to understand that I needed to first receive those praises, like the praises i sung over my children, then I began to feel my heart’s acceptance. I felt cherished. I felt praises. I felt lovely. Even if at first I could not feel that love, I had faith it would happen.

In order to change our hearts and change our bodies, we have to see ourselves differently. First, see yourself as a child of God.

You are lovely.

God sings praises over you.

Believe it.

Praying,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 20: Spiritual Depression}

Sat, 20 Oct 2012 00:03:34 -0700

I have this reoccurring dream where I am in a dense fog. I want to wake up, but I can’t. I lie there body paralyzed, but mentally I am fully aware of my surroundings. I can’t go forward, and I can’t go back. It’s debilitating. It’s maddening. It’s depressing. These dreams are as close as I can come to describing the spiritual depression I went though when my weight was out of control.

I was trapped in a real life fog. Trying desperately to move one way or another and simply couldn’t make myself move. The more depressed and disconnected from God I became, the more weight I gained. The more weight I gained, the more depressed and disconnected from God I grew. The less I wanted to read God’s Word; the less I wanted to pray. It is a vicious cycle that the enemy loves to keep us bound in. Sound familiar?

Thankfully, we have the Holy Spirit.

With the holy Spirit, we can change our state of spiritual depression and set those chains down.

Here is how:

Tell God how you feel. Be honest. He knows already, anyway. If you are mad, say you are. If you are lost, tell Him.
Through prayer, tell God your need for Him to hear you and confess your sins.
The Holy Spirit will bring you hope and peace.
Realize and honor that God’s grace for you is sufficient in every area of your life, including this one.
Open your Bible. Go anywhere. It is filled with people who have problems just like you and I. Ordinary people who God used to do extraordinary things.
You are one of His children. He will use you to do the extraordinary if you are willing.
Accept God’s wisdom, mercy, and grace. For real.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5)

There is a way out of this. He waits to lead you. When you are weak; God is strong. He is waiting for you to say three little words, “God, help me.”

Praying,

P31Wife

31 Days of Weight Loss: {Day 19: Trials, Tests, and Trust}

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 00:17:00 -0700

When we face trails and tests we have a choice in how we handle them. From the devastating trials to the tests, we have a choice to rely on ourselves or trust Jesus. As hard as our flesh makes it upon our spirits, we can choose to trust Jesus.

In the last year, I have been faced with trials that have been devastating. Typically, in the past, these high caliber trials would have sunk my weight loss journey. I would have easily given way to temptation and found solace in food. Choosing to fall back into old habits of hiding from pain, finding comfort in the old familiar path of self indulgence were options that never proved fruitful and kept me farther and farther from the Lord.

“The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,” (Nahum 1:7)

When you say yes to Jesus during the everyday temptations of life, bluntly, it makes saying ”to hell with it” a lot harder during the tumultuous times of trials and tests. For example, when I began to see that I could say no to harmful foods, and excessive second helpings by obediently and lovingly saying yes to the Lord, my momentum of saying “Yes, Lord” gathered an unstoppable steam. My relationship with Him grew stronger and stronger. When the storms came, it was never an option to say no to the Lord and yes to myself because my trust is so deeply rooted in Truth. I had died to myself and had gained the strength of the Lord. No trial will sweep that away.

Still, today, I am tested. I am still walking this weight loss journey in the present. Tonight, I stare down pumpkin bread like it is the Third Reich. My journey does not end until I am at the feet of my Maker. And, be clear about this, it is and never has been about food. It is about the condition of my heart.

Make one solid decision to trust built upon another and another, dear friend. Rely upon the Lord to sustain you in times of trials and tests. He is the only one who can. Obey Him. The Lord is the only true source of self control, peace, and joy. You can trust Him.

Praying for us both,

P31Wife